Of Mice and Cats
by Bethany1
Summary: What do millions of mice, moldy cheese, and a scythe have in common? Well, according to Artemis they are all out to get him... which brings us to this story about just how much trouble that small forgotten part of ruthlessness in talking cats can be. (co-


Of Mice and Cats  
One Part  
By: Bethany and Scutter  
Rated: PG  
Editor: Meara  
-------------------  
  
It was a rather dark evening, mostly due to the storm outside and our  
lack of electricity because of it. Streaks of lightening would light up the  
room momentarily, then all went dark once more.   
  
The city looked eerie from the 12th floor apartment window. It was a  
rare sight to see what the city appeared like without electricity. Almost as if  
someone had taken a large paint brush and wiped the city over with black  
paint.   
  
The sounds coming from the rear bedroom indicated that Usagi was having  
a bad night. At one time I actually heard her sobbing, and Mamoru attempting to  
calm her. I'll never understand a woman who has saved the world many times over,  
from more furious beings than thunder and lightening, being so scared to death  
of nature's natural elements. But left up to Usagi, she would rather deal with  
Beryl again than to have to sit through a storm. It was fascinating.   
  
I was just about to curl up on my pillow next to Luna and drift off to   
sleep when I saw it. Just a small movement outside my left eye, but enough   
to catch my attention. With natural born instincts, I moved off the couch   
undetected, and crawled towards the kitchen.   
  
Sitting on the counter, the lightening flashing in its eyes for a moment,  
sat a small mouse. It was perhaps a baby, on it's first solo mission to obtain  
food for itself, but it was an enemy. Small, sharp claws held a piece of rice  
firm within it's grasp as it nibbled on it.   
  
It was disgusting. The way it moved so quickly, not caring it was making  
enough noise to wake any cat within a mile, as it scurried across the counter  
and back into the bag of rice. It emerged seconds later with another strain of  
rice within its grasp.   
  
So innocently it sat up on it's hind legs and ate, looking around for a   
moment before returning to its meal. I wanted to destroy it. To rip it limb  
from limb and leave it begging at my mercy.   
  
I used to wonder about my feelings of ruthlessness. I have always   
seen myself as a cat only in appearance, never in soul. To me, I was just   
as human as every one else - perhaps only shorter... walks on all fours...   
a long tail...   
  
Well, I did say in appearance, didn't I? To any extent, I had cat-like  
urges. I felt this over whelming joy when Minako would knit, I wanted to get  
so tangled up within its string grasp that it would take her hours to un-tie  
me. And catnip? I was a puddle of mush on the floor, begging for more.   
  
So it was natural for me to want to chase mice, wasn't it? Luna doesn't  
think so. She says I just want to fulfill some emptiness within me due to not  
having a kitten-hood. She could be right. I was much too busy training the   
girls who would save the world. Who had time to play with yarn? So now that   
the world is at peace, I feel like it's time to go back and retrieve what I   
missed before I feel to old to do so. I could hear Luna laughing at me about   
it even then. In my head, I mean. Even when she wasn't around, she was my   
conscience.  
  
While lost in my thoughts, the mouse on the counter had managed to finish  
dinner and was well on his way to find dessert. The pudding bowl that Usagi had   
left in the sink was his target. But not if I had anything to say about it.  
  
With as little noise as I could muster, I moved towards the counter   
and leapt up behind the creature. He had yet to notice me; or so I thought.  
  
I moved towards him, my ears down and my tail flagellating the air. It was  
a matter of seconds and victory could be mine. But I should have known better   
than to count my chickens before they hatched. As I had lovely images of victory   
in my head (the sound of trumpets perhaps) as I held up my captive the damn   
thing disappeared.  
  
Now, I'm not one to get angry, but only more determined when faced   
with adversity. But it was only a split second before when I seen the tiny   
being on the counter, waiting to be demolished! Where had it gone so quickly?   
  
With an edge of impatience, I leapt off the counter and onto the floor.   
Searching the room, I only saw a few stray grains of rice to even indicate   
there was a mouse at all. Okay, so now I'm a little ticked off. I had hoped   
to get this over with and get my beauty sleep - but nooo, it gets away. It   
can run, but it cannot hide! No mouse shall escape the wrath of Artemis the   
Kitty! Muhahahahaha... um, where was I again?  
  
Oh yeah; so with some annoyance in my step, I searched behind the   
refrigerator and under the kitchen table. Nothing. I wish I could wake up   
Luna, ask her to help me. But the last thing I want is another lecture   
that I don't need to be chasing mice.   
  
So instead I take my search through the hall and towards the back   
bedrooms. There I find a piece of broken rice, so my search isn't in vain!   
Excited by the prospect of finding and capturing the little rodent, I   
enter the spare bedroom where Usagi keeps a sort of office - where she   
works in her spare time towards becoming a manga artist. There is a large   
desk in the middle of the room, scattered with paper drawings of animals -   
especially rabbits - and the like. Nothing really catches my interest   
here, so I move on towards the bathroom.   
  
The bathroom is extremely dark as I edge my way sneakily around the door,   
but I'm a cat, the darkness doesn't bother me. *MmMPH!* I glare at the doorframe   
in the dark, while shaking my injured paw. I swear that thing just put itself in   
my way deliberately...   
  
Then a small sparkle of light catches my attention. Hmm... what have we in   
here...?   
  
"What on Earth do you think you're doing wandering about like a rat lost   
in a maze?"   
  
"MREEEOOWWW!!" I leap a good three feet in the air, as my black-haired   
companion lurks out of the darkness. "For goodness sake, Luna!" I scold her   
in a harsh whisper. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!"   
  
She raises her nose ever so slightly into the air. "Well, I wouldn't have   
to if you didn't insist on clunking around the house at night!"  
  
"Clunking!!?? If you must know, I was stalking a mouse. The vile, lowly   
little pustule was eating rice from the kitchen. And in the name of the Moon,   
I won't allow it!"  
  
Luna humphs quietly. "I'm sure it was just your imagination, Artemis.   
Now come back to bed, and stop keeping me awake."   
  
I frown at her in the darkness. "It was NOT my imagination. And I   
won't go to bed, not until I find that detestable pile of rodent-like foulness   
and deal with it properly!"   
  
Luna sighs. "It was in the kitchen, you say?"  
  
I nod emphatically, pleased that Luna was finally believing me finally.   
"Yes, it was eating rice out of the packet. The revoltingly miniature fur ball   
left crumbs all over the counter."  
  
"Okay, let's go and have a look," she says.  
  
I followed her quickly back to the kitchen... and then I blink rapidly.   
It can't be...   
  
"Well," she glares at me disdainfully, indicating the spotless counter.   
I guess it must have been a very NEAT mouse, mustn't it?"  
  
"But I swear it was there...!!"  
  
"Enough, Artemis! Now stop this nonsense and come back to bed." With that,   
she stalks out of the kitchen, plopping down delicately on her bed.  
  
I glance around the kitchen one last time before following her to bed...   
but there was nothing, no lurking shadows, no mislaid crumbs, no sign that that   
repulsive scrap of loathsomeness had ever been there... it couldn't have been   
my imagination... could it??   
  
Still shaking my head, I reluctantly follow Luna into the living room  
and lie down. All the time thinking either I've gone mad, or I have a lunatic  
mouse on my paws; one that likes to clean up after himself.   
  
I was still lying there thinking of the rodent when I felt something.  
Just a small prick, as if someone had pulled a single hair out of my tail.   
Still trying to figure out what happened in the kitchen, I paid no mind to  
it.  
  
But then it happened again, but this time it hurt a lot worse. Thinking  
I had my tail caught on something, I yanked it up to curl around my body.  
  
"MEOWWWW!"   
  
"What in the world..?!" Luna shrieked, jumping up, arching and   
hissing, the fur standing up all along her back. "Artemis!"  
  
"What?!" I responded a little aggravated, nursing my poor tail. It looked  
like someone had shaved the tip of it. I looked behind me, and there it was.   
And if I didn't know better.. it was smiling.  
  
"There it is!" I yelped and took off towards the kitchen after it, Luna  
staring at me like I'd lost my whiskers. "I saw it! It did something to my tail!"  
  
  
Luna, now standing in the doorway to the kitchen, was rather perturbed.   
If not thoroughly pissed off. She flicked her tail into the air and went back   
towards the living room, calling after her, "Artemis, come here."  
  
Giving one last longing glance into the kitchen, I reluctantly followed  
Luna and sat before her. "Yes?"  
  
"Look," she instructed, waving her paw towards the entertainment center.  
  
I looked, though I wish I hadn't. From where I stood, and Luna too, for  
that matter - I had gotten my tail caught in the door of the video case. There  
was a little bit of white fur sticking out of the closed door. "But how..?"  
  
"I don't try to explain the things you do, Artemis. I gave *that* up long  
ago," Luna sighed. Flopping back down on her pillow, she curled up. "Now  
stop with this mouse business, and let's get some sleep."  
  
"Mouse business?" I declared, not ready to abandon the current   
conversation. "Do you think *I* put my tail in the entertainment center,  
just so I could blame a mouse? That hurt!"  
  
Yawning, Luna lifted her head to have her last say on the subject.  
"I do not know what you are trying to prove. You are not a young kitten  
anymore, Artemis. Please stop behaving like one, and go to sleep!" And  
with that, she turned away from me and curled up.  
  
Fuming, I placed my tail under me and tried, once more, to go to sleep.   
  
  
I had thought that going to sleep would be a good idea, perhaps that   
way I could forget about that infernal furred criminal for a while... but it   
was not to be. No sooner had I drifted off to sleep then I began to have the   
most bizarre dream...  
  
I felt uncomfortable. Strange... I had made sure Usagi bought me the   
softest, most padded kitty bed on the market. There was no reason for me to   
be feeling uncomfortable. I tried to stretch, to ease the ache in my limbs,   
but found I couldn't move them. I cracked one eye open in a sleepy, cat-like   
manner... and stared at my legs.  
  
My paws were tied together!   
  
I heard a snicker just to my left, and glanced around. My eyes snapped   
wide open. I was surrounded! All around me stood dozens of them. Dozens of   
small, furry, devious, intrepid, immoral rodents.  
  
Then, one of them stepped forward, and grinned the grin he had grinned   
at me earlier that very evening. My rice-eating archenemy mouse.  
  
The mouse, infuriatingly brazen thing that it was, leapt up onto my   
shoulder, and began walking up and down my back, scattering bits of soggy   
cracker through my fur.   
  
"Noooo..." I moaned helplessly. "It'll take me WEEKS to clean all that   
muck out of my fur! Stop it, please!!"   
  
The mouse giggled... *GIGGLED* I tell you... and scampered away, vanishing   
down a nearby hole, then reappearing moments later... with something held firmly   
between his paws...  
  
He walked quite boldly up to my face, and held out his offering. That's   
when I noticed that he was holding a piece of... "MOLDY CHEESE????? No, I   
refuse to eat a piece of your filthy, tepid month old moldy milk product!"  
  
The mouse gave me a slightly disapproving glare ('Glare?' the rational   
part of my mind wondered. 'Since when do mice glare??') and held out the cheese   
again. No, I couldn't eat moldy cheese. It was just too disgusting. I flung my   
restrained limbs about in a desperate attempt to get away...   
  
"ARTEMIS!!"  
  
"MMRWWAAAHHH!!!" I screeched, as I jerked awake, to find Luna leaning over   
me, a decidedly un-Luna-like scowl on her face.   
  
"It is IMPOSSIBLE" she hissed, "to sleep while you are moaning and   
screeching and waving your uncoordinated limbs about everywhere! Now sleep   
QUIETLY, or I shall make you sleep OUTSIDE!"   
  
I glowered slightly, but didn't say anything. I knew Luna well enough to   
take her threat seriously. And with the rain still pouring from earlier in the   
night, I didn't fancy that soggy option one little bit...   
  
Getting as close to Luna as she would allow, I managed to drift off once  
more into, thankfully, a dreamless sleep.  
  
The next morning came, as it always did, with Usagi stumbling through the  
living room and yawning. I, too, yawned and stretched my paws out. A part of me  
was scared that my paws were actually tied together, but one quick movement  
proved me, thankfully, wrong.   
  
I started towards the kitchen for my breakfast, Luna not far behind. But  
when I got to the kitchen, my bowl was empty. I looked up at Usagi questionably,  
and started to ask where my food was when she started.  
  
"Exactly what were you two doing last night? You were making enough noise  
to wake everyone in the apartment building up!" She did look rather sleepy, and  
I imagine that what sleep she could have gotten after the storms may have been..  
interrupted, for lack of a better word.   
  
Usagi sighed and sat down at the table, her eyes closed. "What happened  
in here? The way Artemis was going on, you'd think someone had tied his paws  
together!"  
  
Funny she should say that... But before I could defend myself by   
explaining that I was only *trying* to save the rice, Luna spoke for me.  
  
"Artemis is seeing things, and thinks there is a mouse. And in his journey  
to stop the mouse from devouring everything in the kitchen, he made as much   
noise as possible." Luna, looking rather smug with herself, obviously wasn't  
finished with me yet. "And then, when I finally made him go to bed, he started  
moving and jerking around in his sleep like a wild animal. Gomen ne, Usagi-chan."  
  
"Honest Usagi-chan, there was a mouse! It was eating the rice!" My self  
defense, by this time, was a pointless waste of breath. Since Luna got the  
first word in, I was discredited from here on out. Sighing, I, too, also   
apologized.  
  
Usagi nodded her head, gave one last glace back at me and popped open a   
can of cat food. Placing Luna's on the floor first, and then mine. I was   
famished, and nothing - not even that pesky mouse - was going to keep me from  
enjoying a good meal.  
  
Or so I thought.  
  
There, in my bowl, was claw marks and teeth marks! And they were only   
small enough to have come from one thing... but how did he get into an unopened  
can?! "Luna! Look!"  
  
"Hmm?" she mumbled, glancing sideways at me from her bowl.  
  
"There are.. claw marks in my food!"  
  
"What?!" Luna mumbled, not bothering to come and see for herself.  
  
"Claw marks, and teeth marks! It's that mouse I tell you! It's somehow  
used its mousy-skills to strike again! And this time he has drawn the line,  
getting into my food and messing it up. How can I eat it now?" I rambled on,  
completely oblivious to the fact that Luna was now sitting beside my bowl  
studying the contents.  
  
"Artemis.."  
  
"And it's beyond me how he managed to get into an un-opened can!   
Un-opened, Luna!"  
  
"...Artemis..."  
  
"Why is he after me? He's a mouse, I'm a cat. I'm suppose to chase him,  
catch him, devour him and go on with my life!"  
  
"ARTEMIS!"  
  
"Huh?" Blinking for the first time in what I think was about five minutes,  
I looked at Luna and was slightly startled by the fact that while I wasn't  
looking, she had moved. "What?"  
  
"There are no claw marks."  
  
"Right there! Look! And teeth marks, too!" I emphasized, placing my paw  
above the incriminating marks to make sure she seen.  
  
"And there are no teeth marks, it's just your imagination - now eat!"  
And with that said, she stalked over to her food bowl, looking angry, and  
began eating.  
  
I sat there and looked at the food bowl, with the claw and teeth marks  
that seem to be invisible to everyone else. There were there, and though I  
had no idea how they had gotten there - they were, and I knew who had done  
it. I started to eat, when something occurred to me.  
  
What if it had put poison in my food? What if it was waiting in the  
shadows right now, watching to see me die? Discreetly, or so I thought, I  
looked in all the dark corners of the kitchen.   
  
"Artemis?" Luna asked, looking perplexed. "May I ask what you are  
doing?"   
  
"I was.. eh.. " I stuttered, not sure if telling the truth was even  
an option at this point. "Well, I thought I saw.."   
  
"There - is - no - mouse!"  
  
Nope, that was the wrong thing to say. But 'I'm looking for the mouse  
that put poison in my food' wasn't sounding any better, either. Sighing,   
I tried to eat again. But found that my mind was taking over logical things  
at the moment, which made me constantly think that one bite of this food  
would cause me to kick the bucket, and fast.   
  
After many failed attempts at eating, I thought perhaps if I went   
to the kitty litter box that maybe I could clear my mind away from the   
poison that I just *knew* was in my food and I could think better about   
the situation.   
  
I padded softly towards the bathroom, and was about to step into   
the kitty litter tray when... "I don't believe it!! Luna! Usagi! Come and   
look at this!!"   
  
"For crying out loud, Artemis!"  
  
I looked up at the deep voice above me. Mamoru glared at me. Obviously   
he hadn't gotten much more sleep than Usagi last night...  
  
"Can't you do ANYTHING quietly? Between you and Luna, it's worse than   
having a marching band living here."  
  
"But LOOK!" I demanded coldly, pointing at the litter tray. I still   
couldn't believe it. That unbelievably perverted excuse for life had struck   
again. There was a picture drawn in my litter tray! A picture of... a mouse...   
with a scythe??? Oh sweet heaven, it couldn't be.  
  
"Just WHAT am I looking at?" Mamoru demanded.   
  
"There are *marks* in the tray!" I told him. "That wretched package of   
squeaking fluff has made marks in my litter tray!"  
  
Mamoru stared at me like I had grown three tails.  
  
He stared at the tray for a moment, then grabbed it off the floor, shook   
it, and set it down again. The picture was obliterated. "There, nice and flat.   
Is that pristine enough for his majesty?"   
  
"Euh!" I cried, staring at the now completely flat and untouched pile   
of litter. I scowled at Mamoru's back as he stalked away.  
  
"What are you making a fuss about now, Artemis?" Luna asked wearily,   
wandering into the bathroom.  
  
I looked in dismay from the tray, to Luna, and back again. I shook   
my head. There was NO WAY she would ever believe me... "Uh, nothing," I   
muttered, blushing furiously, as I stepped into the tray. "Nothing at all."   
  
As much as I tried, and believe me, I tried, I couldn't bring myself to  
eat my breakfast. By lunch I was starving, and while listening to Usagi mumble  
about me wasting breakfast, I wondered if my lunch had been broken in to.  
  
Lucky for me, and my stomach, my lunch was in perfect out-of-the-can   
condition and I ate it up like a starving alley cat.   
  
The rest of the day was uneventful, which almost made me believe that  
the mouse, having finished making me go crazy, had either retired to Yokohama   
or left. I am sincerely hoping the latter is true. By now, I had no urge to simply  
kill and eat the mouse. No, I wanted to shred it from limb to limb. But since   
I had no way to prove that the mouse even existed... maybe, though don't tell  
her I said so, Luna was right. Perhaps there wasn't a mouse at all.   
  
---------  
Luna's P.O.V.  
---------  
  
Much as I was grateful to have a decent night's sleep that night, Artemis   
having finally shut up about his imaginary mouse, I still found myself awake   
sometime past midnight. My sharp ears instantly twitched at the faint sounds of   
scuffling I heard from the kitchen. I shook my head. It wasn't Artemis again,   
was it?? But no, a quick glance at his bed showed that he was indeed fast asleep.   
Then what could be making such a noise? Soundlessly, I padded out to the kitchen...  
  
And there, on the kitchen bench, was a mouse! Eating the last crumbs of   
a plate of crackers... twitching his whiskers in that vile, mouse-like way!   
Now, be it that I have a human mind, I'm still a cat physically... and something   
inside me quite refused to allow me to let this infuriating creature just sit   
there...   
  
With a wink and a flash, I had launched myself across the kitchen, landing   
with poised care directly on top of the mouse.   
  
I suppressed a cat-like mew of glee, not wanting to wake anyone else in   
the house, and grinned triumphantly at my prize. This little creature would not   
be making any more trouble for me! And with that rather ruthless thought, I   
calmly bit his head off.   
  
---------  
Artemis' P.O.V.  
---------  
  
I woke quite suddenly in the morning, faintly annoyed to have a bright   
beam of sunlight glaring into my eyes. I blinked a few times, and looked up,   
seeing Luna sitting primly on her bed, washing herself.  
  
She looked around with a faint disinterest. "Good morning, Artemis.   
Sleep well, did you?"  
  
I nodded. "Yes, I rather did, Luna."   
  
She smiled a cat-like smile, and returned to her bath.  
  
I glanced around the room apprehensively. Then I sniffed the air. No,   
there was no scent of mouse anywhere. And no trace that there had ever been   
one, no crumbs, or hairs or... I shuddered at the thought... or pictures...  
  
I eyed Luna warily, then, swallowing my pride, bashfully admitted,   
"Well, I guess you must have been right after all, Luna. I guess there was   
no mouse..."   
  
She blinked at me, seeming rather surprised by the admission. Then the   
surprise vanished, and she smiled her cat-like smile once again. "Well, I'm   
glad you've decided to put an end to this mouse nonsense," she declared sensibly.  
  
  
  
The End.  
  
Hello-hi! We hope you enjoyed out little tale here :) Please send all comments,  
suggestions... and yes, if you must flame - you will, but I, however, have found  
out exactly what that little "Delete" button means! ^^;;   
  
Thank you to Meara, for being the wonderful editor she always has been to me.  
And thanks to everyone who writes me (And Scutter, too) for our stories! ^_^  
  
3 Bethany and Scutter  
  



End file.
